Facebook. It’s now an integral part of everyday life. You probably hear it daily in conversations and if you aren’t using it you may feel like you are missing out. Everyone seems to be on or using Facebook with some of your friends or family claiming to have hundreds or even thousands of so-called friends and followers.

But out of those hundreds of friends and followers, how many do you think would actually be a friend when you’re in need? How many are actually, truly interested, and bothered about what you write and share? Do you actually meet up with these people? Do you interact with them in the real world at all?

Friends or Followers?

Maybe you have simply lost touch with some of these people because you don’t need to interact with them in reality anymore as you have all the interaction you need with them now – online. You know everything about what they do on a daily basis, what they are planning to do next week and what they did last night. So why would you ‘catch- up’ with them in real life when in reality you already know everything. The conversation wouldn’t last very long, be boring and would probably contain multiple mentions or thoughts of “ah yes I seen that on facebook”. How many times have you said that to someone or yourself, or even heard someone say it? I would love a GBP for everytime I have heard or thought that phrase.

I don’t use Facebook anymore for personal gratification or sharing my moments. Firstly because I don’t find the time. I share time with my kids, my wife, work and other household matters (DIY) or creative aspects (hobbies). I have a busy life away from Facebook.

I guess to Facebookers I am probably judged as being boring when in actual fact im just enjoying real life and don’t feel the need or have the time to share it on Facebook.

But this makes me think, if I haven’t got time to send regular post updates (and most of my business posts are now scheduled for maximum impact in a marketing sense) then the question must be asked – Are Facebookers bored or do they push aside precious real-life time just to go on Facebook constantly?

Secondly I use it as a source of news, with content that I am actually interested in being shared from pages or groups I follow. This means its like a live magazine that I can read when I am on the bus or having some downtime. It’s simply another knowledge tool.

Other personal posts from ‘friends’ are blocked. It’s nothing personal, just I’m not interested in what they have had to eat or drink the night before, or all the fake photos they post full of happiness and exciting adventures when in reality they are probably arguing with their spouse a lot, stressing, drinking too much or getting depressed in their job or at life in general.

Did you know 75% of people admit to making their lives seem more exciting on social media posting images or videos to their profiles to make their lives seem more adventurous?

Why don’t you post photos of the negative aspects of your life? Because others don’t want to see it and of course you wouldn’t want to share that part of your life would you?

No, this is because we are a judgemental and fake society. Did you know 75 percent of brits admitted to judging their friends based on social media observations of them? What that means is people are forming opinions about others based on mere illusions and deceit.

Family Matters

Not just friendships, but families are affected by Fakebook and the problems it can cause. Sometimes a bad comment (trolling) on a photo or post that should have been kept personal and not in the public eye online can cause rifts. Why? Because obviously the person who received the comment does not want their Fakebook perfect life being tarnished, or their real life being exposed. But also the comment (trolling) or argument should really be kept personal between both members and away from Facebook. It can turn out to be real child’s play, like kids in a playground tit for tat. How about just picking up the phone and discussing it like adults?

Or the one that really gets to me is how life is lived out on Facebook. For example, something as simple as not receiving an invitation for a family gathering through the post because the invites were sent digitally and announced on Facebook. What if someone isn’t on Facebook or doesn’t check Facebook for these things? A missed invite becomes another argument, another family rift.

Fakebook can cause REAL arguments and problems in REAL relationships and within families in REAL life. Yet we still wish for this virtual placebo for life. Is it an addiction or a necessity?

How many times do you ‘like’ but not comment?

The addiction of Facebook comes from the need to belong, or the worry you will miss out on something. According to Psychologists humans are social animals and have a ‘feeling to belong’ in a community. The other need is the need for self-expression which Facebook allows us to do just that offering ability to like, comment or now add emotion to almost everything.

Worrying you will miss out or being a nosey parker is the other main reason people use Facebook. Did you know 1% of web interactivity is truly communal, 9% is instrumental (using a community for temporary advantage) and the remaining 90% is watching others being communal (digital voyeurism).

So, if you find you are spending most of your time on Facebook, hopefully after reading this you will realise Facebook is a virtual placebo of happiness. If you are a Facebooker who constantly posts photos or updates, your so-called friends probably don’t know the real you at all and should be classed as followers. Does that mean you have no real friends at all?

For those of you who are simply voyeurs or nosey-parkers you must have too much time on your hands and should probably do something more with your life. Are you boring? Or is that the judgement made about you because you don’t post on Facebook and nobody knows what your real life is like?

If as most say you use it to keep in touch with people, maybe consider just using Messenger, at least that is private and you don’t have to pretend to be something you aren’t in your social circle – or alternatively, pick up the phone and have a real life conversation, and if you are feeling really daring – organise a ‘catch-up’ drink in person, wouldn’t that be a nice change?

With Facebook being part of my job I use it as a promotional tool, to share things like this story from my blog, manage a page, or share interesting content people want to actually read. Let’s see how many people from Facebook could be bothered to actually read this article in full and how many ‘like’ it but don’t share or comment on it?